The Rainbow Road

We, as parents, guardians, teachers, and caregivers, tend to take the role of dictator when it comes to raising our young ones. This is understandable. We birth them, house them, entertain them, educate them, and nurture them. It feels like it’s our right and responsibility to shape the children in our care.

 

However, whether consciously or not, we often end up projecting our own interests, abilities, and baggage onto our kids. We like camping? Our kids better enjoy it or get told to stop whining. We prefer quiet? We give consequences or punishments for ‘excessive’ noise. We fear we’re dorky? We’re self-conscious when they act hyper and silly.

We put our children in boxes for diet, religion, activities, and even politics. We judge friend choices, career choices, music choices, and hair choices. Worst of all, we break the vow we took in our own early years every time we say “because I said so” (swap for I’m the adult, I’m the boss, my house- my rules, as required). Yikes. How disgusted our 14-year-old selves would be.

 

Unfortunately, in doing this we inadvertently divert our youth from their purpose. We each have a unique reason for the journey we’re on, and preventing kids from growing into their truths is doing a disservice to them and the entire world. We need contrast to make life interesting. Encouraging individuality is essential- it’s how we grow as a society. It’s also how a human grows in the most comfortable and joyful way available to them, which is, of course, what we ultimately want for our children.

 

So, I challenge us all to be far more flexible with what we allow. In fact, let’s move beyond ‘allow,’ to ‘encourage and celebrate.’ Seriously- let’s throw our expectations out the window and raise a bunch of little weirdos. Let’s bring up kids who challenge rules, use their voices, get messy, ask questions, act nerdy, say no, get angry, dress for their personality, befriend the outcasts, explore other points of view, and find their own causes to support.

 

This isn’t to say we should foster anarchy. I’m not suggesting an ‘every human for themselves’ scenario. We can nurture independence and originality while still imparting the essential character traits of a ‘decent’ human. A quirky, loud, or even defiant person can absolutely also be an honest, confident, respectful, compassionate, grateful, trusting, empathic, courageous, kind person. And we can inspire and cultivate those qualities while allowing our kids to live outside the boxes that a lot of people will want to keep them in.

 

Imagine the freedom you would feel if your only parameters were to develop positive character traits like the ones listed above, otherwise leaving you to explore and pursue the life you’ve wanted in your core…

 

The days of moulding our children are in the past. Now has come the time to support, embolden, empower, and cheer. Make the effort to look for emerging interests, strengths, and idiosyncrasies, then make space for the children in your care to explore themselves. Ask for their opinions, even at an early age. Give choices where you might not normally think to. Answer unlimited questions- and ask just as many. Get to know the children in your life.

 

If we give our children the power and environment to express and expand into who they truly are, we will be gifting them a life of joy. How can that be a bad thing?